


Let it linger

by elliceluella



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Matt maybe stress cleans a little, Misunderstandings, and tries his hand at communicating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:37:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliceluella/pseuds/elliceluella
Summary: “It bothers you, doesn’t it?” Matt asks, chest heaving. He knows he shouldn’t press this, has absolutely no right to, but he can’t stop. “When I’m with Elektra. When you see me with her.”Foggy is upset, uncomfortable, embarrassed; a flash of red and heat and quick, shallow breaths. “I don’t need this right now,” he says, grabs his coat and heads for the door, but Matt— god, how he wishes he could listen to that tiny part of his brain and just,stop— steps back and blocks Foggy’s path.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when a supposedly ~100 word thing grows legs and gets away from me in a pair of emotionally-fuelled sneakers.

“It bothers you, doesn’t it?” Matt asks, chest heaving. He knows he shouldn’t press this, has absolutely no right to, but he can’t stop. “When I’m with Elektra. When you see me with her.”

Foggy is upset, uncomfortable, embarrassed; a flash of red and heat and quick, shallow breaths. “I don’t need this right now,” he says, grabs his coat and heads for the door, but Matt— god, how he wishes he could listen to that tiny part of his brain and just, _stop_ — steps back and blocks Foggy’s path. “Matt.” It’s quick and sharp, barely precedes the hurt and wetness like flimsy saran wrap.

Foggy’s crying. Matt bites the inside of his lip until he tastes copper, lets that and Foggy’s tears remind him why he’ll never deserve Foggy. _Selfish bastard_ , says the voice that promises to keep him company tonight, but Matt wills it into background noise, because he’s got more pressing matters at hand. “Foggy, please.” Matt swallows. He doesn’t deserve to utter his name. “I need to know.”

*

Foggy laughs and it’s harsh, bitter, scraping along his throat but he clings to that pain because it’s the only thing he can control. Everything else is giving him away— his blood, his sweat, the way he’s _shaking_ from that thing deep inside that threatens to rend him to shreds any time now.

“No, no you don’t.” He’s disgusted, disappointed; can’t decide whether it’s more at himself for taking the bait or at Matt for, well, _this_.

He never thought Elektra would waltz back into their lives— _their_ lives, because they’ve got a law firm and shit to maintain now. Never thought Matt would drop everything for her _again_ , and do so unapologetically, either slipping out of their office or giving some bald faced lie Foggy thought he’d be too tired to call Matt out on until he surprised himself.

He never thought Matt would have the decency to take a cheap shot and call Foggy out like that.

It fucking stings.

Foggy’s breathing alternates between sharp and shallow. If it’s a hysterical cacophony in his own ears, how much worse must it sound to Matt’s?

“I need to know,” Matt begs again, and he sounds wrecked, like maybe it’s hurting him too. But what does Foggy know? Not much, if the past months were anything to go by.

Foggy hates this, hates that he always breaks for Matt.

Has Matt forgotten? The crying, the clinging to Foggy’s shirt, the comfort food Foggy had to force Matt to eat, all the hurt she brought Matt. And him. Of course it hurt to see Matt with Elektra again, to watch the way she trailed her fingers along Matt’s desk and hum as she surveyed their office with that amused expression the same way some people thought being poor was ‘charming’.

But maybe it’s a good thing Matt doesn’t remember, because Foggy would never be able to explain the extra care and extra...everything he did for Matt away.

“Foggy,” Matt presses again. Fine. He wants to know and then pretend to act all surprised? So be it.

*

“What do you want me to say that my heart and my— whatever hasn’t already given away, Matt, what? That of course, it hurts to feel unwanted? That _just once_ I wish you’d pick me over her?” Foggy bites out. Matt’s lost in Foggy’s words, lost in the duelling tides of earnestness and reluctance in his voice.

“I—” Matt doesn’t have any follow up beyond that.

“Screw you,” Foggy says, hands tightening around his coat. It’s painful how small and quiet he sounds when he’s hurt. It’s not right. “I suppose that’s more than enough fodder for you and her to share a laugh over.” He makes it to the door.

“No, Foggy—” Matt pushes the sting down and explains it all as best as he can in a jumbled rush, tells Foggy what he and Elektra have been up to, how they’re just friends and how much he’s missed sparring with her, being Daredevil and fighting by her side because she’s the only one who gets it and how he’s not really alive without all of this. He talks about the freedom that comes when he’s with her because that’s when he gets to take a break from being Matt Murdock, blind attorney, from making sure that everything he does has to be small, restrained. Stifling.

Foggy pauses, like he’s considering everything he’s just said and Matt hopes that maybe, just maybe Foggy gets it when he nods once, quick and sharp.

But then Foggy pushes past him and leaves with a poorly muffled sob, and the fresh trace of salt makes Matt’s eyes prick with tears.

*

Wow. Foggy’s always known that he could be naive at times but right now he is definitely the world’s greatest fool. Ten years of...friendship, of thinking maybe he’ll never be able to give Matt what Elektra can but that’s okay, at least he could make Matt laugh and be the best possible person he could be for Matt, because Matt deserves so much, but now.

Now he knows what he really is to Matt.

Elektra’s the only person he’s let in because she gets it, because the support and freedom he gets when he’s with her is something only she can give; she doesn’t hold him back, not like Foggy does. Because Foggy is a part of Matt’s life, not Daredevil’s; Foggy keeps him small and unhappy and keeps him from being who he really is, who he wants to be. He doesn’t fit in that other world.

Foggy is stifling, but Elektra is grace and lightning and a breath of fresh air.

The pain in Foggy’s elbow where he bumped it against the door frame on the way out barely registers. He just needs to get the hell out of there.

Matt takes off after him. “Foggy, wait— ”

“Forget it. It was a mistake.” Foggy voice quivers at the end. He needs to get out of here immediately. “I should’ve never—” _Never said anything. Never have met you. Loved you._ He shakes his head and presses his palm to his eyes, hard.

Matt lets him go.

Foggy’s still shaking when he's three blocks away from the office.

Maybe it’s time to really let go of the firm and everything they’ve worked for. By the looks of things— the absences, constant distractedness, cagey attitude— Matt already has, and Foggy can’t hold everything up by himself. Nelson and Murdock was his dream anyway. He was the one who brought it up first, that night, sitting on the steps, boozed up and happy. Maybe he wouldn’t be here right now if he’d kept his mouth shut that night.

He should leave if he makes Matt this miserable. Get out before Matt grows to resent him more.

Foggy sighs. He really should’ve been a butcher instead and made his mother happy.

*

It’s the last thing Foggy would want, but Matt follows him home and lurks outside, in the corridor. He listens to Foggy drink, bottle after bottle, until his breath evens out and he stops wiping his eyes, eventually falling asleep on the couch.

How is he supposed to tell Foggy that he— that whatever he had with Elektra was passionate and painful, but Foggy’s taught him that love is not supposed to be adrenaline and barbed wires all the time, and that—

Foggy starts to cry in his sleep, quiet sniffles and whimpers that make Matt want to punch something, hard, again and again until something breaks and the pain washes out the guilt. He did this to Foggy, who's done nothing but keep him anchored, always steadfast, and remained the only good thing in his life.

There's no doubt that Foggy would better off without him, but Matt can’t leave Foggy like this. Not after everything Foggy’s done for him. Matt fiddles with the spare key Foggy gave him before he makes up his mind and enters Foggy’s apartment quietly. If Foggy could see him now and if they were still talking, there’d definitely be a joke somewhere about Matt finally using the front door like a regular person.

Foggy stops sniffling after Matt tucks him in the softest blanket he can find, careful not to wake him. He cards gentle fingers through Foggy’s hair but doesn’t let himself lean in to brush his lips over Foggy’s forehead.

He places a glass of water on the coffee table, then gets a trash bag and picks up the empty bottles littered around the sofa, eventually moving on to cleaning the rest of Foggy's apartment. He's so distracted by all of it he misses when Foggy wakes until it's too late. 

Matt turns and instinctively takes a step towards Foggy before he shrinks back, guilty.

“Sorry, I’ll leave now,” he mumbles, and quickly makes his way to the door after gathering Foggy’s trash.

“Wait,” Foggy says, quietly. Matt's surprised that Foggy's even talking to him. “Why’d you come by?”

“I was wrong,” Matt says after a long while. “To keep the truth about what I’ve been doing with Elektra from you, wrong to, to— _I hurt you_.” Matt breaks into a loud sob. “I’m so s-sorry, Foggy.” His breath comes out wet and shuddery. Foggy doesn’t move or say a word, but everything about him sounds upset.

Matt tries to calm down, regain some semblance of control over his breathing. “I didn’t know, before. That it wasn’t supposed to hurt like it did...until—” Matt’s chin trembles, and his fingers tighten around the trash bag he's been holding on to all the while. He puts it down and smooths a hand over his thigh. “Things with Elektra were intense. I loved her, but that's...we would've never worked out. I thought that was it, I'd never get another chance, but you, you helped me realize how...when I'm around you, that's what I imagine love is supposed to be." He hands are balled into fists, and he takes a breath. "You always deserve the best, Foggy, and I'm sorry I'll never...and I didn't put you first, or….show how much I lov—” It's probably good that he can't get the words out. He doesn't deserve to say them anyway.

Matt curls in on himself because everything physically hurts. The last thing he expects is for Foggy to wrap himself around Matt, but it feels like a relief, like forgiveness, and Matt clings onto Foggy and falls apart in his arms.

+

They stay like that for a long time.

“C’mon Matty,” Foggy murmurs, later. “Let’s go get cleaned up.” Matt blinks, too distracted by the _Matty_ to process anything else for a few seconds. Oh. Foggy’s cheeks are damp too, and Matt wipes them with his thumbs, lightly, returning the small smile he feels with his hands.

They’re both in Foggy’s t-shirts and sweats, well into their box of pizza when Foggy says, softly, “I shouldn’t have let my hurt cloud my...for not listening better. I’ll work on that. And I’m sorry if my actions pressured you to say things you might not mean. I’m totally okay if we just remain—” Foggy’s heart skips, once, and he pauses before he tries again. “It would mean the world if you stayed in my life. As...whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Matt lets go of his slice and grabs Foggy’s hand, greasy fingers be damned. “I’ve messed up for too long, it’s time to do it right. And I meant everything I said earlier.”

He smiles at Foggy’s quiet gasp. “I love you, Foggy.”

The small, irrational fear that Foggy won’t believe him vanishes immediately when Foggy closes the gap between them and kisses him, happy and contented.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Foggy says, after they stop to catch their breaths. He sounds like how Matt imagines a sunny day would look.

“Good, because I plan to kiss you every day. Multiple times.”

“Every day?”

“Every. Single. Day.” Matt punctuates each word with a peck to Foggy’s lips.

They don’t pull apart for a while after Foggy smiles and whispers, “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://ellicelluella.tumblr.com/) :D


End file.
